Established 2005 Registered Charity No. 1110656

Scottish Charity Register No. SC043760

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Caring for yourself

August 01 2025
@ Mike Stokoe @ Mike Stokoe

Help from another person, whether a carer or health advocate, can be of huge benefit to yourself. By Greta Gillett 

I am disabled with both visible (I use a walking stick) and invisible (I have a serious and complex mental illness and am also neurodivergent with AuDHD) disabilities. I have a carer who is a dear friend I trust implicitly, they support me on bad days to be able to get something to eat, take my medication and drink plenty of water (my medication causes dehydration).

On good days and days in-between, my carer supports me to attend hospital appointments, therapy, college, seeing family and also doing fun stuff which is needed to get my mood up. That last one is vital, because I am a human being first with hobbies and passions.

It’s truly a team effort having a carer in this form. He is one of the many unpaid heroes in this country. Although he does receive carer’s benefit, it works out that more than half of his hours are ‘voluntary’.

I have found my many appointments, whether for mental or physical health, have improved dramatically in comparison to all the years I went alone.

All of a sudden I’m having things explained to me properly, or my carer will ask people to explain things to both of us clearly. I find there is a confusion with doctors, often I can’t fully understand them, so they used to either under-explain or patronise me. But now I’m able to go to see the doctor with confidence and leave feeling positive about the appointment.

This happens for a few reasons:

  1. I am not alone and there is someone else checking what they say and how they treat me.
  2. My carer is a man who happens to be 6’4” tall. The majority of doctors I see are men and I’ve noticed they automatically have a little more respect for him, man-to-man, over me the patient (a lowly female!). Maybe it’s a patriarchy thing!
  3. We work together as a team and the doctors can see that. If either one of us forgets something important to ask, the other one usually remembers.

It has made my experience with doctors so much less stressful. When you have a carer who supports you and you are spoken to rudely or bluntly by a health professional, you can always discuss this together with your carer afterward. When I would go to health settings alone I would usually just mull it over in my head and begin to question what really happened at every appointment.

If you are reading this and have disabilities, and believe you would benefit from having a carer but feel that it’s not an option for you right now in terms of cost, I highly recommend exploring whether someone you trust can take on the role of carer for your appointments. Another option is seeing whether an advocacy scheme appeals to you.

Charities such as Groundswell run volunteer health advocacy services designed to help people attend, understand and feel confident about healthcare appointments.

With this help, I’m confident you will find the stressful and sometimes upsetting trip of going to the hospital a much better experience.

< Sparks in the dark
February – March 2026 : Progress

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