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Tea-ology

May 22 2009
Proslytising is not always welcome, a reader reminds us, so keep your beliefs to yourselves! "Excuse me, sir, I would just like to tell you that Jesus Christ Our Lord loves you and would like to..." I'm afraid I never found out what Jesus Christ Our Lord would like so much to do for me, as I turned on my heel and left. The bearer of such glad tidings was a young Asian guy who certainly didn't mean any harm, and I didn't intend to be rude. But it was eight o'clock in the morning outside Camden Town tube station, I had been fast asleep in a doorway what seemed like about seven seconds earlier, and I was in no mood for a heavy religious discussion. At that moment, frankly, I was far more interested in discussing tea than theology. Having been on the street for about eight months, I have noticed a lot of resentment among homeless people about the religious content of so many of the charity organisations. Judging by some of the conversations I have had and many comments I have overheard in the queues at food drops, many regard it as - at best - patronising proselytising and - at worst - the cynical emotional blackmail of desperate and vulnerable people, a throwback to the Dickensian days of soup kitchens and workhouses, and the destitute being forced to sing 'Amazing Grace' 17 times before being allowed a bowl of gruel and a cup of tea. What exactly is it that makes born-again Christians believe that they have some (literally) God-given right to try to shove their religious beliefs down everybody else's throats? I noticed the same thing many times when I lived in Hong Kong. That time, the culprits, as they so often are, were Jehovah's Witnesses. It was always the same set-up, obviously rehearsed many times. Two people, usually young men dressed in white shirts and ties, sporting crew cuts and name badges and looking like members of the Hitler Youth, would hang around parks on a Sunday afternoon. The people they approached were almost always young, lonely and vulnerable looking, generally Chinese students or Filipina maids on their day off. In other words, people whom they knew perfectly well would be surprised and flattered to find themselves the object of such intense attention from two smiling, smartly dressed Westerners with American accents. It was always two against one, obviously to disorientate their victim, accompanied by many fake smiles and false bonhomie and, frankly, it was quite nauseating to watch. Curiously, they hardly ever approached cynical Westerners. Can't imagine why‚Äö?Ѭ? The Hare Krishna movement simply hand out their vegetarian meals six days a week. (Why not on Sundays, incidentally? Since they're not Christians, presumably Sunday is simply another day of the week to them. Perhaps they have some vitally important bell-ringing and head-shaving seminars to attend...) The Hare Krishnas make no attempt to broadcast their creed and, as a result, they enjoy greater respect and admiration, and much more genuine interest in their beliefs, than militant Christian organisations such as the Jesus Army ever will. Force simply does not work - when will they learn? A few weeks ago, at a food drop in Charing Cross, one of the staffers came around with a pen and paper and started to ask everybody for their names. Not surprisingly, given the fact that many of the people who turn up at these things are not exactly anxious to advertise their identities, this was greeted with considerable hostility and suspicion. However, it turned out that she simply wanted our names so that they could pray for us later. (I would have thought that God doesn't need a scrawled signature to know who we are.) When I refused to give my name on the not unreasonable grounds that the whole concept was utterly ridiculous, she became quite upset and rather aggressive. So much for turning the other cheek... As far as I'm concern, Monty Python's Life of Brian will tell you everything you will ever need to know about the inherent ludicrousness of all organised religion. So please, Jesus people, keep your views to yourself. Or, better still, be a Samaritan and cross to the other side when you see me coming, because I'm not interested. And neither is anybody else. * If you have something to say, even if it's a response to this piece, and feel you could write up to 800 words on it, get in touch. Email editor@thepavement.org.uk.
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