Established 2005 Registered Charity No. 1110656

Scottish Charity Register No. SC043760

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February – March 2026 : Progress READ ONLINE

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Features

Hot Arse FC
01 December 2023

A time-warping adventure to the past and the future, where Premier League footballers fight for a different kind of survival. From the Pavement’s satirist-in-chief, Chris Sampson

Codename: McHaggis
01 October 2023

Operative MQS-X (Malcolm Scots-Little) is the lovechild of Mary Queen of Scots and Malcolm X. He travels through time not so much righting wrongs but making helpful suggestions, under the codename McHaggis. A story by Chris Sampson

Lost in music
01 August 2023

A deep dive into the music soundtracking our writer’s day-to-day. What does it mean and how does it relate to mental health?
By Chris Sampson

GHOSTS ON STRIKE
01 April 2023

A frightful tale of political intrigue and ghostly goings-on in the upper echelons of British society, as our reporter investigates the Ghost Creation Scheme. Words by Detective (not really) Chris Sampson.

Time to end homelessness
01 February 2022

A darkly comic tale of government attitudes to homelessness, in which the PM has the last word. By scruffy scribe and friend of the Pavement, Chris Sampson

Opinion

Optimism/rejection
01 February 2026

On the problem of public perception, political choices and the stigma and hypocrisy rife in our society. Words by Chris Sampson 

Carry on farce
01 February 2023

The NHS faces cuts as demand grows. There is some hope, but, alas, found almost exclusively in the mind of the Pavement’s resident daft sod, Chris Sampson

The supporting role
01 August 2022

As some guy said a while back, “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players”. But it can be difficult figuring out your role. Let the Pavement’s satirist-in-chief guide you in your quest for understanding.
By Chris Sampson

The Homelessness Awards
01 June 2022

Join our correspondent for a run-down of some of the contenders at the Homelessness Awards. A satire by Chris Sampson

Moving 'Em On
01 March 2020

Livestreamed from PC Wellbeloved’s consciousness, by Chris Sampson

Under one roof
01 November 2019

Life in a hostel with the Singer, the Racist and the Spy, by Chris Sampson

Obituaries

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Your voice

A load of bother
01 December 2025

Time-travelling detective O’Haggis embarks on a trip to the near future, where totalitarianism and pre-loved orgasms for sale mark a troubled era. Story by Chris Sampson 

Adventures in poverty
01 October 2025

In a parallel universe, a scientist has taken the poor people on earth to a new dimension to start afresh. How would the two dimensions get on? By Chris Sampson

Queen Victoria's voice
01 August 2025

How did Queen Victoria really sound? Our intrepid time-traveller O’Haggis investigates.

Prince Philip: UFO hunter
01 May 2025

Another O’Haggis misadventure of royal intrigue. From the mind of Chris Sampson, who doesn’t expect a knighthood anytime soon

Time on fire
01 April 2025

A time-bending story from the world of O’Haggis, the time-travelling super sleuth. From the mind of Chris Sampson

The white stripe
01 February 2025

Another time-bendingly absurd adventure from the equally absurd mind of Chris Sampson

February – March 2026 : Progress

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